Freemasons’ Hall
Yesterday, I went for a look around the Freemasons’ Hall, which is about half way between Covent Garden and Holborn. I don’t know much about Freemasonry, other that in all likelihood, they secretly control the world.
Their building does nothing to dispell this myth either, so on arriving and signing in to access the museum and library, we gave false names. I chose “Peter Florida”. As you might expect for a group that control the world, the inside of the building was pretty fancy - think the decor of the castle in Resident Evil 4. To get to the museum you have to walk through a number of corridors, and the temptation is to go through one the doors that were closed with signs on them saying things like “Private” or “Keep out” - though what stops you from taking a quick look at their child sacrifice ceremonies or whatever is that number of smartly dressed, beardy old men around, who look as though they have the lung capactity to bellow “SEIZE THEM!” whilst pointing.
The museum itself is pretty interesting - though most of it is medals, symbols and assorted tat like that made out of precious metals. And there’s some paintings of important people who happened to be masons too. What sets it apart from other museums is that it doesn’t actually do much to enlighten you on what everything is - in fact, there’s a sign up saying as much: about how they need to keep certain things secret for masons only.
It felt a bit like the Da Vinci Code - in that there was a secret code that we were trying to crack, and I didn’t act very well.
It was pretty good though, I mean, as organisations that control the world go - and it was surprising to see how they have their fingers in all sorts of pies. Their former HQ is now the headquarters of Age Concern, another possibly-evil organisation, for instance.
The inevitable gift shop afterwards was pretty good too - though they were too classy to have pencils and rubbers with the Masons logo on, they did have bookmarks… that cost a fiver, and Mason logo pencil cases and socks. There was also a wide selection of Masonic books covering everything from Masonic ettiquette to Masonic jokes. Given how secretive they are, I imagine the pages are mostly blank.
But yeah, go and have a look yourself - if you’ve already done all of the proper museums and that (though we all know what’s in the British Museum has been vetted by the Masons anyway).
Functional details that almost make this “review” useful:
- Wikipedia page on the place
- A map of where it is
- Nearest tube: Holborn? Covent Garden? One of the two.
